"oops i forgot".


My mom say that everyone has a beautiful side. So I guess I’m a circle.

(via cartel)


i literally have no idea what im gonna do if i dont end up rich

(via hotboyproblems)


"Don’t wear that you’ll give people the wrong idea"

What idea? That I’m a fine as hell? That ain’t an idea that’s a fact ma

(via fake-mermaid)




dating an identical twin scares me bc what if i get them confused

i read a book once where this girl was romantically involved with this guy who had a twin and they would punk her all the time and be like which one is your boyfriend you have to kiss the right one and then it turned out one of them was evil and trapped her in a dungeon with a bunch of rats or some shit

but that’s like, worst case scenario

(via findingwhorey)


my dad lives in california and i live in new york and the doorbell just rang and it was the pizza guy except heres the twist i didnt order a pizza and so he gave me the pizza, prepaid, and said “your dad says hi”

(via findingwhorey)



y’all are so annoying about dogs tbh i see posts like “there’s probably a doggy all the way across the world wagging its tail right now I have butterflies” get a job u fuckin hippies


(via imperialcondesce)



How come Beyoncé wears crystal-studded leotards, 6” heels and fishnets, but she dresses Blue Ivy, her baby, in regular baby clothes? It really makes you think.

How come Beyoncé chooses to drink alcohol but doesn’t have Blue Ivy drink it? Why is Blue Ivy always being carried around? Why is she so short?

(via imperialcondesce)



english is not my first language and all my life i thought brussel sprouts was the name of some celebrity

everyone is always like “i hate brussel sprouts” and all this time i was here thinking what the fuck did that poor guy do

(via laugh-til-ya-fart)


that’s the spirit
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